CSI Miami-David Caruso-Horatio Caine

Caruso: Can someone fill me in, here?

Detective: It seems the victim was exiting the pet store, when a man dressed in a penis costume came and shot him in the chest, than ran away in the alley where he had a van waiting for him. We have no suspects so far,sir. Any clues?

Caruso: Well it seems (puts on glasses)... our killer is being a real dick! (leaves)
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Caruso: What happened here?

Detective: The victim was sitting on a bench, reading a newspaper, when a male approached him with a giant penis-shaped sword, impaling him in the heart. He then escaped on his motorcycle; it had no license plates. What's your input,sir?

Caruso: Well it seems our killeeer (puts on glasses) ... likes deep penetration! (leaves)
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Caruso: What's the story?

Detective: The victim was walking to work , when 5 individuals rained down from the first floor and crushed his spine and broke his head on impact; he died on the spot. Although two broke their legs, they managed to get away and nobody can ID them. What do you think?

Caruso: Well it seems our victiiiim (puts on glasses) ... had a bad case of "It's raining men"! (leaves)

Dark and twisted times

This is my dark period. Like Picasso's blue period, I'm in my shitty one. Actually, if you come to think of it, women's periods are pretty shitty ones, so I could rephrase it like this: I'm having a period and it is shitty. Which sounds pretty obvious...because it is. Periods are shitty. Good we clarified this matter.

Dunno why exactly I'm writing in English, not like I have a foreign following that I'm not aware of, although I do know that some of the most important people on Earth follow this blog...and I'm not gonna take it farther than this. Just take into consideration that every time you masturbate in front of the computer, you're being filmed and everything's sent to my HQ, from where I carry on my blackmail/porn spamming activities. Don't worry, you cannot harm me in my sanctuary which I call home, since "I live in a golden palace orbiting Jupiter" (Cracked.com). Anyways, hope you hordes of English speaking fans out there enjoy this post (as you should my Romanian ones, even though you can't understand shit; but don't worry, I don't either...you are not alone (and I'm not talking about the filming-you-masturbate-part;which goes only to the men out there,the ladies can remain calm) ).

So, as to march on in the direction I have stated before, my dark period consists in fuckin sad songs one listens in such situations. Songs sadder than a baby goat being raped by a horny monkey that wears a shackled-chain around its neck (reference to clip no.3). So I will let the Man in Black, Mr Johnny Cash do his job and take you on a cloudy, melancholic journey - Give My Love to Rose and Hurt. Enjoy as you are taken over by the sadness and regrets of an unfullfilling life twist your very last ounce of soul (+dead baby dolphins and shit...may they rest in peace).

This shit's gonna be funny

I did... I did...


I did tee a putty'tat.

Enjoy!

Slideshow

Instructiuni: 1. Dati drumul la melodie. 2. Vizualizati pozele (in Full Screen); si apasati butonul cu rotita din slideshow (settings) si selectati sa nu afiseze titlul si autorul pozei. 3. Touch yourselves. 4. Enjoy.

Roses and thorns and shit...

O melodie ce spune foarte bine ceva ce toti aflam mai devreme sau mai tarziu (nu ma refer la faptul ca nu exista Mos Craciun; pt ca EXISTA !! ). Acesta fiind un moment mai sensibil al meu, in caz ca cineva are ceva impotriva, well...you can fuck off,come back and fuck off again! Auditie placuta! Melodie si versuri frumoase...gotta love it! De fapt gotta love me !